y’all remember that game in elementary school where each person would say one word and the next person would say a word etc so it’d create a cohesive story? let’s do that:
well playtime is over you’re all grounded
this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said
"sister, that’s fashion"
and just walked away
What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy
that’s it. that’s the whole show
she’s 23 and she didn’t know she had a vagina until 5 days ago
This is why we don’t do close readings of 50 Shades of Grey.
the funniest thing is that the tattoo actually reads “part of an asshole race”
more accurate is “Member of asshole race”
my sister’s view on one direction’s fashion sense:
- louis: “smoked weed once and won’t let anyone forget it”
- zayn: “posh college student ft. laid back beyonce”
- harry: “hippie mom that’s a little too happy about being pregnant”
- niall: “frat boy… might’ve sucked some dick but no one judges him”
- liam: “he looks like he’s about to get into a rap battle”
*presses the button* *worships the button* *becomes the button*